a time for everything

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Oh let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone
Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon
Show me slowly what I only know the limits of
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on
Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long
We're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

Dance me to the children who are asking to be born
Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn
Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn
Dance me to the end of love

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in
Touch me with your naked hand or touch me with your glove
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

--leonard cohen the master

zuval

What can i say. This friday was one of the strangest days in a very long time. A day of heat, accidents, irritation and up and down emotions. This saturday by contrast was a relief - a day of beauty.

When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Tiger! Tiger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry? --Blake

writing and being written

we are part of a destiny, a bigger whole, of cycles(which perhaps we call time). But we also create the story. our lives are co-creations of stories. becoming and being, space and time, past and now.

The man who sees [the primordial and natural] elements as functional parts of a cosmic whole, harmonized by outwardly complex, yet inherebtly simple laws of "functional coherency", overcomes fear. -- Dane Rudhyar (the astrologoy of personality p.67)

just now

Santiago comes for a visit and the moon is beautiful tonight starring close to jupiter in the almost summer sky.

up early

really extra-ordinary night. i can only remember the last one but it feels like my sleep overfowed with unusual dreams this night.

aerial dance

today while laying in my hamaca i watched an extraordinary beautiful dance. two butterflies where fighting or courting above and around me in a small piece of forest. I watched them for more than 10 minutes. They circled and swooped around each other in a mesmerizing pattern of very tight circles and ovals. i wass spellbound.

grey..t time

on the weekend a friend of a 2 of my housemates died in an accident. A difficult thing for them to accept. The scales seems to have been haeavy on the side of death the last few months. Last night a had a series of very unusual dreams. I dreamt of my friend Karl. Or rather i spoke to him. In some dreams his parents and sister were there and others my sister and friends. The feeling was very unusual. He or the dreams explained to me what death is. I can't describe it fully but he acted somewhat like a robot. His heart was gone. He showed no emotions. Like a zombie, a grey ghost or pattern of who he was. His family was still very sad and i was sorry they had to see me and him again and bring all the emotions back up.

Perhaps it also happened because i was thinking of what part of us survived death before i went to sleep. I 'know' at the deapest we are all one and those eyes are ever seeing, but what about the younger pattern of paul or even paul at 35. Before i thought that gets lost, but the deeper aspects might aslo be carried over to a next form of life. Body gets carried over in DNA so why not soul. Perhaps not an exact copy(as in genetics) but some core features gathered in many lives. perhaps this the thought lead to the series of dreams.

a few unfinished thoughts

...not entirely original but with own 'twist':

i think time is feminine and dancing. Also that irrational numbers in mathematics are feminine and dancing towards infinity. Feminine is the ever changing and testing and male is whole numbers and fractions and doesn't exist in time. I think male and female are not equal. that's a political correct idealism. but they are complements like positive and negative. their is a deep mystery in sex when the two unite.

i think people who die live on inside us, the same with the past selves of ourself and those of others. At death the dance ends, but the dancer not. Weakness and strength, courage and fear, they are present in every act of ours.

snowboard himmel

Went skiing with Richard on wednesday at Engelberg. What a great sunny day up among the white giants. And for the first time i managed to snowboard without looking at my feet or in front of me. i just let go and trusted my body. a bit like skiing with eyes closed. but that doesn't mean i didn't walk like a very old man the next day :)

early morning sounds

i'm not especially an early morning riser. but i've realised this morning that there are few things more beautiful than the day waking up. the meditative and repetitive night sounds mingles and gives way to the sleepy and chirpy sounds of purpose. or in plains words, those night crickets and little birds waking up sound damn beautiful lying in my warm bed:) goood morning

the borg were right

resistance is futile

playing with Jan and Finn

sunshine & braai

Yesterday we had our first 'summer' braai and i introduced the swissies to safrica's favourite weekend activity.

"I have been having some trouble with a flower," said the little prince.
"Ah!" said the snake.
And they were both silent.
"Where are the men?" the little prince at last took up the conversation again. "It is a little lonely in the desert . . ."
"It is also lonely among men," the snake said.
.......
"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me . . ."

internet lighter than air

ich bin jetz on-li..air. sitting in my garden and working while looking at the lake is not bad. if it wasn't for the smell of cow manure things would be perfect,)

coming soon...

today is so beautiful and warm outside
it gives me hope for months to come:)

moving day

on this strange and shreckliche tag it comes to me that perhaps i've been a believer in that mesmerizing us dream - that anything is possible and the 'greatest' best. perhaps it has some truth to it. i just need to reformulate it for my never resting mind: to naturally go for the best but accept all outcomes and in betweens like a stone swimming upstream in a river;)

ah my dear buddhist friends, and american friends, and mexican and african and swiss. it is as it is, and i'm being very abstract today. avoiding emotions i guess. getting lost in abstractions and work always helps. why do i find it so easy to judge and so difficult to forgive? i just need a good drink i think. schoni tag vor alle.

mio dios mio. asi es, asi fue. si o no? claro que siyyyy! ;)

a heavy heart

l i f e, love, pain, a funeral, 
a purple flower
to try and catch them in my big net
 of why
haha
 ha ha haha
 haha ha ha
 ha ha ha heee hooo
(i suddenly laugh 
                  at my 
I NNO CENT Mission)
                        It is!!
                                 im- 
possible?
         but
 trying
 is a WaY
of lOvE
& these words:
play, 
eternal 
        y
         a
         pl
        ay
ee.
    ---------

today i was
a poor lover
a sad child
a wonderfilled fiend
tonight
the snow falls heavy.
----------

kitchen life

Yesterday i made rusks and today i baked my first ever banana bread:o
hmm now i can bake, i have long hair...remind me why i need a girlfriend anymore? ;)

Had a tiring and very interesting aikido session. Learnt about inviting my opponent, being open and moving from my center. How well i've learnt to be defensive. Now to unlearn.

Tomorrow is N's dad's funeral. I go to bed with heavy dreams ahead.

the moon wanes

There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy.
Friedrich Nietzsche

the toa

What is here, this natural state, is a living thing. It cannot be captured by me, let alone by you. It's like a flower. (This simile is all I can give.) It just blooms. It's there. As long as it is there, it has a fragrance which is different and distinct from that of every other flower. You may not recognize it. You may or may not write odes or sonnets about it. A wandering cow might eat it, or it may be chopped down by a haycutter, or it fades and is finished -- that's the end of it. It's of no importance. You can't preserve its perfume; whatever you preserve of this is only a synthetic, a chemical perfume, not the living thing. Preserving the expressions, teachings or words of such a man has no meaning. This state has only contemporary value, contemporary expression.

-u.g. khrisnamurti

new site look!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after long nights the new site is up. i just had to improve the navigation. now if only i could do this with my life;)
Here's a pic from my window. It just started snowing again:)

prayer from Jan

We give thanks for our friends.
We anger each other.
We fail each other.
We share this sad earth, this tender life, this precious time.
Such richness. Such wildness.
Together we are blown about.
Together we are dragged along.
All this delight.
All this suffering.
All this forgiving life.
We hold it together. (© Michael Leunig)

the death of theory

“The years are flying past and we all waste so much time wondering if we dare to do this or that. The things is to leap, to try, to take a chance.” -L Cohen