the borg were right

resistance is futile

playing with Jan and Finn

sunshine & braai

Yesterday we had our first 'summer' braai and i introduced the swissies to safrica's favourite weekend activity.

"I have been having some trouble with a flower," said the little prince.
"Ah!" said the snake.
And they were both silent.
"Where are the men?" the little prince at last took up the conversation again. "It is a little lonely in the desert . . ."
"It is also lonely among men," the snake said.
.......
"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me . . ."

internet lighter than air

ich bin jetz on-li..air. sitting in my garden and working while looking at the lake is not bad. if it wasn't for the smell of cow manure things would be perfect,)

coming soon...

today is so beautiful and warm outside
it gives me hope for months to come:)

moving day

on this strange and shreckliche tag it comes to me that perhaps i've been a believer in that mesmerizing us dream - that anything is possible and the 'greatest' best. perhaps it has some truth to it. i just need to reformulate it for my never resting mind: to naturally go for the best but accept all outcomes and in betweens like a stone swimming upstream in a river;)

ah my dear buddhist friends, and american friends, and mexican and african and swiss. it is as it is, and i'm being very abstract today. avoiding emotions i guess. getting lost in abstractions and work always helps. why do i find it so easy to judge and so difficult to forgive? i just need a good drink i think. schoni tag vor alle.

mio dios mio. asi es, asi fue. si o no? claro que siyyyy! ;)

a heavy heart

l i f e, love, pain, a funeral, 
a purple flower
to try and catch them in my big net
 of why
haha
 ha ha haha
 haha ha ha
 ha ha ha heee hooo
(i suddenly laugh 
                  at my 
I NNO CENT Mission)
                        It is!!
                                 im- 
possible?
         but
 trying
 is a WaY
of lOvE
& these words:
play, 
eternal 
        y
         a
         pl
        ay
ee.
    ---------

today i was
a poor lover
a sad child
a wonderfilled fiend
tonight
the snow falls heavy.
----------

kitchen life

Yesterday i made rusks and today i baked my first ever banana bread:o
hmm now i can bake, i have long hair...remind me why i need a girlfriend anymore? ;)

Had a tiring and very interesting aikido session. Learnt about inviting my opponent, being open and moving from my center. How well i've learnt to be defensive. Now to unlearn.

Tomorrow is N's dad's funeral. I go to bed with heavy dreams ahead.

the moon wanes

There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy.
Friedrich Nietzsche

the toa

What is here, this natural state, is a living thing. It cannot be captured by me, let alone by you. It's like a flower. (This simile is all I can give.) It just blooms. It's there. As long as it is there, it has a fragrance which is different and distinct from that of every other flower. You may not recognize it. You may or may not write odes or sonnets about it. A wandering cow might eat it, or it may be chopped down by a haycutter, or it fades and is finished -- that's the end of it. It's of no importance. You can't preserve its perfume; whatever you preserve of this is only a synthetic, a chemical perfume, not the living thing. Preserving the expressions, teachings or words of such a man has no meaning. This state has only contemporary value, contemporary expression.

-u.g. khrisnamurti

new site look!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after long nights the new site is up. i just had to improve the navigation. now if only i could do this with my life;)
Here's a pic from my window. It just started snowing again:)

prayer from Jan

We give thanks for our friends.
We anger each other.
We fail each other.
We share this sad earth, this tender life, this precious time.
Such richness. Such wildness.
Together we are blown about.
Together we are dragged along.
All this delight.
All this suffering.
All this forgiving life.
We hold it together. (© Michael Leunig)

the death of theory

“The years are flying past and we all waste so much time wondering if we dare to do this or that. The things is to leap, to try, to take a chance.” -L Cohen

get the balance right

i guess there are two important things regarding development. How much we develop in one aspect and how well we use or intergrate all the aspects we already have. The more stable/powerful is of course to have things in balance and the more risky/adventurous is to put all your effort into a few areas.

what does is profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul

dreams of no return

i had some very vivid dreams last night. in one i went back to safrica and my parents' home, but didn't go inside the house. when my father and family came out i went closer to kiss him hello, but then unexpectedly stopped just before his face and said the word "totsiens"(goodbye) instead of hello. it just slipped out and i was embarressed and not sure what he would do. then i stayed in an outside room and one by one my family came to talk with me and only at the end my aunt and mother. she seemed distant, sullen. usually she is so excited when i come back.

in the other dream i kissed N hello at the coming wedding. and we couldn't stop and just started kissing very passionately and intense. over and over i dreamed this last sequence each time with a variation.

the (h)art of communication

today i physically participated in my first aikido class. my whole life seems to have revolved around 2 things..no 3,) - to find my/the center, to learn to communicate better, and not to be afraid. in aikido the same lesson continues and draws in also my body and 'body' center.

The snows continues to fall here. I love it. Cycling nearly alone at night through the white city is a meditation.

Many other things happened today but that's all i want to write.

The Art of Peace begins with you. Work on yourself and your appointed task in the Art of Peace. Everyone has a spirit that can be refined, a body that can be trained in some manner, a suitable path to follow. You are here for no other purpose than to realize your inner divinity and manifest your innate enlightenment. Foster peace in your own life and then apply the Art to all that you encounter
- Morehei Ueshiba

ich bin jetz online!!

permanently connected at last. hello world:)
today zurich turned into a white wonderland again. it's always a nice surprise to wake up to such a sudden change in scenery.

Rhythm of the night

Last night was cool. The drummers and dancers from here and africa certainly beat out the right rhythms. There's something very powerful in rhytms/cycles. I miss hearing the african drums at night.

Life is rhythm
At the heart of every life form there is rhythm. Movement, flow, change, renewal and repe-tition are all based in rhythm. It is only in rhythm, that we can experience time. Without vibration, without oscillation, there is statis. There is nothing. Stability and solidity are illusions. Everything oscillates and vibrates – from the bridge of steel and concrete, to the energy shells around an atom. Even colors oscillate at different frequencies. We recognize and experience our world through rhythm. Everything vibrates – everything „speaks“. It is, in essence, a universe of sound.
-http://www.touch-the-sound.com/

all world's a stage

Image, like Shakespeare did, that we are all actors/actresses in goD's play(maybe Dante too). Then the more we realise this and discover the possibilities available to us on this stage(how it works), the more we can choose our roles/acts and scenes. Well some things have of course already been determined, such as the entrance place and 'mask' of our character and the general rules of the stage and behaviour of the other players around us. In my imagination this of course leaves little room for morality, but this is something i have suspected occasionally when drunk. So with this knowledge, we forget the shoulds and shouldn'ts, see the past as ...in the last episode, and choose or accept our roles and play them with as much fun or drama as any hollowwood movie star. so are the days of our lives...

any flaws in this view?:)

shiatsu dream

Had a very powerful dream last night that woke me up and left me thinking for a long time. In it were me, my father and brother, and my search for a soulmate. So going into and around the body wakes up the inner and past emotions

gO and shiatsu

shiatsu with Sakura. what an experience! thanks for the great present Jan & Alex. i can't believe it took me so long to do something like this. a great addition to meditation and sex:)

It made me think and feel various things - who am i; the invisible flow of ki; she had the hands of my mother and strong too; the royalty of the feet, the vulnerability of the neck, the difference between the right and the left of the body. i could go on for hours about these themes but won't bore you :)

see http://gobase.org to learn what gO is. a great game.

way of harmony of chi

i went to 2 aikido classess the last few days. i like it a lot. now i understand why they call it the art of communication. it's an awareness ballet.

i thought of something. when one has a new insight, a revelation, then it doesn't mean that truth is suddenly realized in life. one must then go back (down) and lay the lower path leading (up) to that vision. as krishnamurti said..the first step is the last step. it seems to me before we can actualize the higher life senses we first need to go back (down) and make sure the most basic things are in balance. our instincts, our gut feelings, body movement, our sexual mind, familial relations, and then only can the higher senses of emotion, thought, transpersonal awareness be used sustainably. only from the valley can the mountain be climbed?:)

small tale of power

in mexico i was thinking the whole time of power. what is true power? In a sense the word says what it is: a certain potential available to shape or experience life.
- Firstly, this energy can be excersized in different spheres of life: political, familial, physical, psychological etc.
- It can also differ in permanence, i.e., inherited or delegated power can be lost, bullets can be used up, but the ability to shoot is longer lasting. (Thus the ability to withstand time).
- Then there is the matter of control and intent. How efficient/loving/good is the power used. How much money or energy is wasted in the use thereof?

Maybe it just comes down to what wilber defines as the highest morality: the greatest power is power that is excersized over the greatest depth for the greatest span.

That's fine for theory but something i thought of yesterday is that the greatest power one can have is just to be/become your whole Self. This power seems to me personal and so very important. It is lasting because it cannot be taken away even by time, and it's intent and control is just to the best of your ability because it emerges from your whole being. Of course this is the trick, that we must act from our whole Self, not only our mind or feelings or body or gut or intuition, but with our whole soul. well this might also wrong:) chao