aerial dance

today while laying in my hamaca i watched an extraordinary beautiful dance. two butterflies where fighting or courting above and around me in a small piece of forest. I watched them for more than 10 minutes. They circled and swooped around each other in a mesmerizing pattern of very tight circles and ovals. i wass spellbound.

grey..t time

on the weekend a friend of a 2 of my housemates died in an accident. A difficult thing for them to accept. The scales seems to have been haeavy on the side of death the last few months. Last night a had a series of very unusual dreams. I dreamt of my friend Karl. Or rather i spoke to him. In some dreams his parents and sister were there and others my sister and friends. The feeling was very unusual. He or the dreams explained to me what death is. I can't describe it fully but he acted somewhat like a robot. His heart was gone. He showed no emotions. Like a zombie, a grey ghost or pattern of who he was. His family was still very sad and i was sorry they had to see me and him again and bring all the emotions back up.

Perhaps it also happened because i was thinking of what part of us survived death before i went to sleep. I 'know' at the deapest we are all one and those eyes are ever seeing, but what about the younger pattern of paul or even paul at 35. Before i thought that gets lost, but the deeper aspects might aslo be carried over to a next form of life. Body gets carried over in DNA so why not soul. Perhaps not an exact copy(as in genetics) but some core features gathered in many lives. perhaps this the thought lead to the series of dreams.

a few unfinished thoughts

...not entirely original but with own 'twist':

i think time is feminine and dancing. Also that irrational numbers in mathematics are feminine and dancing towards infinity. Feminine is the ever changing and testing and male is whole numbers and fractions and doesn't exist in time. I think male and female are not equal. that's a political correct idealism. but they are complements like positive and negative. their is a deep mystery in sex when the two unite.

i think people who die live on inside us, the same with the past selves of ourself and those of others. At death the dance ends, but the dancer not. Weakness and strength, courage and fear, they are present in every act of ours.

snowboard himmel

Went skiing with Richard on wednesday at Engelberg. What a great sunny day up among the white giants. And for the first time i managed to snowboard without looking at my feet or in front of me. i just let go and trusted my body. a bit like skiing with eyes closed. but that doesn't mean i didn't walk like a very old man the next day :)

early morning sounds

i'm not especially an early morning riser. but i've realised this morning that there are few things more beautiful than the day waking up. the meditative and repetitive night sounds mingles and gives way to the sleepy and chirpy sounds of purpose. or in plains words, those night crickets and little birds waking up sound damn beautiful lying in my warm bed:) goood morning