up in space, back in time, down to earth, go within

21 aug - 8 sept CES (see photoalbum)

Cess Report
Arrival:
In spite of your excellent efforts to get me to Firenze on time it was all to no avail as the train to Milano arived medio hora tardi, and so I missed my connection to Svissera[switzerland]. Well I wasn't too worried and all worked out as a few bussess and angelic lifts(autostops) later I arrived at the small piccolo of chironico and proceded climb up to the even smaller piccolo Ces. It was already getting dark(8pm) but at 9:30 i empirically proved that one could leave grempoli at midday and still arrive to get a cold dinner at Ces(1400m above sea level).

1st week:
Benny and Florian, 2 young male stutgartians, where the members of the Ces foundation who welcomed me to the main house, mao moa, with it's low ceilings and beams. It was built around 1685! In my first week I was quite oblivious to politics and personalities and consiquently quite happy. I picked herbs from the garden, cooked, cut wood and started to build a garden fence with Florian. Though I didn't find the community I expected, the people were interesting and the place beautiful. The town consisted of the 2 ces members, me, a farmer and his wife and 2 or 3 temporary workers who work for him in summer. Then there where also 2 young woman who lived 15 minutes away and they really lived the simple live. They've been there 12 years(since they were 20) and live like people did 100/200 years ago. I liked them though. They say they sleep a lot in winter :) A friend of theirs also gave me an address of a south african woman living near castel focognano in toskana and said she thinks we would fit well together! Well who am I to argue with prophesy ;)

2nd week:
The history, politics and conflict reveals itself. The pace of live quickened as some guests arrived(the foundations runs 2 rustic guesthouses), also the girlfriend of florian, Benny got a little dog and visits by the wild women. They started telling me about the semi-hippy(how hippy can a swiss be;) origins of ces in the seventies and the current state of affairs. Ces owns one third of the village, the farmer has 2 houses and rents the rest from ces and the rest belong to
the ticinese locals who only come occasionally. The farmer and ces are suing each other and some locals and ces also seem at loggerheads. So that explains the somewhat non-existent community. The original vision from the seventies is no more. Then Florian beat his dog badly when it ran away that it was limping for days. This prompted me to stop speaking to him as bullies and those who mistreat animals are not high on my tolerable people list.

3rd week:
Things got better as a new wwoofer arrived and also swiss guy who is doing his social service. He quit the army when they wanted him to go and protect the g8 leaders in davos. I started to explore the area more and spent more time swimming, walking and meditating. I also finished a book of Rudulf Steiner(study of man) i found in their library. His unique perspective on life was a pleasant surprise and very fortuitous. He was active in the fields of health, spirituality, architecture, education and farming. These teachings i will definately explore further :)

In the end I enjoyed my time there but was ready to move on.
Read my Cess Report...

leavin' las zurich

18 - 21 aug: Grempoli, Italy, with Prem and Gyan (see photo album). Many things are happening but i cannot write them down. Alas until the flame of inspiration alights once more in my hand i merely state chronology. Perchance these canvasses might be painted on later. asi fue. si.

the land of in-between

tonight i am loneliness
tonight my home is a stone hut
where i swim through rain and cold
... deserted
Strange and disconcerting
there are no animals around me

how could i have lived this way so long?
how could i have stayed in this place, this state
where i am a stranger?
it started long before i came,
here, to this house,
this storey of in-between.

now amazed i leave.

i took so long to see.

how long can one be an alien?
how long can one freeze one's soul to keep fear away?
i feel like walking out of myself,
out of this alien self
towards laughter and fire,
towards a dog, a friend of my soul,
towards peace and my soul mate.

is it this place, is it me?
i am a stranger in a strange land
as i was to the south,
at my birth
(and on my travels)

Few things are worse than being sin casa
i have become something far away
i don't realize what
i inhabit the land in between
(
desires make me play
and dreams
yet more and more the sound of eternity
rings closer
)
Set me free you big-eyed beings
you don't want me to remain
in this soft land of in-between?
Were is my home?
i want to go home
i want to BE home
show me the way
to my home,
my real home

aha

tonight my dear friend Jan gave me the answer to a long standing problem of mine ..woman ;) I expect openess from others, to have a free-er kind of romantic love(as in 'free love, not free beer.. open source love if you will ;) ; and yet i myself approach every nice woman in the fashion of love me now totally with your (w)hole heart and soul and foverever we shall explore together. i forget we all hang together in a web of loves and lossess, and that true bonds take time and sharing. so my friends, inside and out, i will b aware of the desire and trap of trapping my intimate & soul mate, and be aware there's a way of letting her flow to and through and away from me. peace

MY full moon departs

Today I made a great step forward ;) Instead of saying goD or life is fucked and blaming them as i'm sometimes in the habit of doing, i'll be more accurate and local and just say it corretcly in mexican slang: ME LLEVA LA CHINGADA! The fact that the metaphorical weather or rather 'climate' sucks in my life doesn't mean it is like this elsewhere, that this kind of climate can't be enjoyed or even that is has some sort of purpose that might be lost on me. btw. the physical weather also sucks ...

lies & love

Accept this if you can: follow the truth but accept and give love to your lies, follow the truth but be aware it is supported by lies, follow the truth but know it is a lie, or just follow, it leads beyond truth or lies.

Accept this if you can: follow victory but accept and give love, follow victory but be aware it is supported by love, follow victory but know it is love, or just follow, it is beyond victory or love.

Or as the Toa te ching would put it :)

A good traveler has no fixed plans
and is not intent upon arriving.
A good artist lets his intuition
lead him wherever it wants.
A good scientist has freed himself of concepts
and keeps his mind open to what is.

Thus the Master is available to all people
and doesn't reject anyone.
He is ready to use all situations
and doesn't waste anything.
This is called embodying the light.

What is a good man but a bad man's teacher?
What is a bad man but a good man's job?
If you don't understand this, you will get lost,
however intelligent you are.
It is the great secret.

Source:Toa Te Ching.