Sailing to the wild coast

13 - 24 Des.
My desire to inspect the kula dhamma community turned into a road trip. With Oloff and Paolo i went south, first sailing on the vaal, then bloemfontein, hogsback in the mountain mists, the south coast at kenton, then khula dhamma, the nothern wildcoast at Port st johns, and finally ended with my family at glenmore. The beauty of each of these places was exceptional but i only longed for silence. But what a varied and woanderfilled world. In Khula dhamma i had the great fortune of coming across the work of Masanobu Fukuoka.

Airports are surreal places

I'm camping here in athens airport. what makes these flying 'bus stations' with borders surreal? Well the repetitive background muzak, numerous identical shops with 'cultural' gifts , millions of identical glass doors that are closed, hundreds of identical security personnel, repetitive, weirdly translated, and highly annoying public anouncements. Get the picture. But despite this alien zone people are surprisingly friendly .. friendly .. friendly ... ;)

in the valais

hiking with simone. 28 nov. - 1 des.
snowboarded yesterday at the 3000m les diablerets glacier park. amazingly, wonderfully, stupendously beautiful and fun.

buddha101

15 - 26 nov: vipassana retreat. 10 hours meditation a day, no personal verbal or non verbal communication, get up at 4am. just taming the mind and non-reactive awareness of bodily sensations.

mont soleil centre

home on the alp

15 sept - 15 nov The Schweibenalp

Nicoletta's retreat

9 sept - 15 sept Zurich

up in space, back in time, down to earth, go within

21 aug - 8 sept CES (see photoalbum)

Cess Report
Arrival:
In spite of your excellent efforts to get me to Firenze on time it was all to no avail as the train to Milano arived medio hora tardi, and so I missed my connection to Svissera[switzerland]. Well I wasn't too worried and all worked out as a few bussess and angelic lifts(autostops) later I arrived at the small piccolo of chironico and proceded climb up to the even smaller piccolo Ces. It was already getting dark(8pm) but at 9:30 i empirically proved that one could leave grempoli at midday and still arrive to get a cold dinner at Ces(1400m above sea level).

1st week:
Benny and Florian, 2 young male stutgartians, where the members of the Ces foundation who welcomed me to the main house, mao moa, with it's low ceilings and beams. It was built around 1685! In my first week I was quite oblivious to politics and personalities and consiquently quite happy. I picked herbs from the garden, cooked, cut wood and started to build a garden fence with Florian. Though I didn't find the community I expected, the people were interesting and the place beautiful. The town consisted of the 2 ces members, me, a farmer and his wife and 2 or 3 temporary workers who work for him in summer. Then there where also 2 young woman who lived 15 minutes away and they really lived the simple live. They've been there 12 years(since they were 20) and live like people did 100/200 years ago. I liked them though. They say they sleep a lot in winter :) A friend of theirs also gave me an address of a south african woman living near castel focognano in toskana and said she thinks we would fit well together! Well who am I to argue with prophesy ;)

2nd week:
The history, politics and conflict reveals itself. The pace of live quickened as some guests arrived(the foundations runs 2 rustic guesthouses), also the girlfriend of florian, Benny got a little dog and visits by the wild women. They started telling me about the semi-hippy(how hippy can a swiss be;) origins of ces in the seventies and the current state of affairs. Ces owns one third of the village, the farmer has 2 houses and rents the rest from ces and the rest belong to
the ticinese locals who only come occasionally. The farmer and ces are suing each other and some locals and ces also seem at loggerheads. So that explains the somewhat non-existent community. The original vision from the seventies is no more. Then Florian beat his dog badly when it ran away that it was limping for days. This prompted me to stop speaking to him as bullies and those who mistreat animals are not high on my tolerable people list.

3rd week:
Things got better as a new wwoofer arrived and also swiss guy who is doing his social service. He quit the army when they wanted him to go and protect the g8 leaders in davos. I started to explore the area more and spent more time swimming, walking and meditating. I also finished a book of Rudulf Steiner(study of man) i found in their library. His unique perspective on life was a pleasant surprise and very fortuitous. He was active in the fields of health, spirituality, architecture, education and farming. These teachings i will definately explore further :)

In the end I enjoyed my time there but was ready to move on.
Read my Cess Report...

leavin' las zurich

18 - 21 aug: Grempoli, Italy, with Prem and Gyan (see photo album). Many things are happening but i cannot write them down. Alas until the flame of inspiration alights once more in my hand i merely state chronology. Perchance these canvasses might be painted on later. asi fue. si.

the land of in-between

tonight i am loneliness
tonight my home is a stone hut
where i swim through rain and cold
... deserted
Strange and disconcerting
there are no animals around me

how could i have lived this way so long?
how could i have stayed in this place, this state
where i am a stranger?
it started long before i came,
here, to this house,
this storey of in-between.

now amazed i leave.

i took so long to see.

how long can one be an alien?
how long can one freeze one's soul to keep fear away?
i feel like walking out of myself,
out of this alien self
towards laughter and fire,
towards a dog, a friend of my soul,
towards peace and my soul mate.

is it this place, is it me?
i am a stranger in a strange land
as i was to the south,
at my birth
(and on my travels)

Few things are worse than being sin casa
i have become something far away
i don't realize what
i inhabit the land in between
(
desires make me play
and dreams
yet more and more the sound of eternity
rings closer
)
Set me free you big-eyed beings
you don't want me to remain
in this soft land of in-between?
Were is my home?
i want to go home
i want to BE home
show me the way
to my home,
my real home

aha

tonight my dear friend Jan gave me the answer to a long standing problem of mine ..woman ;) I expect openess from others, to have a free-er kind of romantic love(as in 'free love, not free beer.. open source love if you will ;) ; and yet i myself approach every nice woman in the fashion of love me now totally with your (w)hole heart and soul and foverever we shall explore together. i forget we all hang together in a web of loves and lossess, and that true bonds take time and sharing. so my friends, inside and out, i will b aware of the desire and trap of trapping my intimate & soul mate, and be aware there's a way of letting her flow to and through and away from me. peace

MY full moon departs

Today I made a great step forward ;) Instead of saying goD or life is fucked and blaming them as i'm sometimes in the habit of doing, i'll be more accurate and local and just say it corretcly in mexican slang: ME LLEVA LA CHINGADA! The fact that the metaphorical weather or rather 'climate' sucks in my life doesn't mean it is like this elsewhere, that this kind of climate can't be enjoyed or even that is has some sort of purpose that might be lost on me. btw. the physical weather also sucks ...

lies & love

Accept this if you can: follow the truth but accept and give love to your lies, follow the truth but be aware it is supported by lies, follow the truth but know it is a lie, or just follow, it leads beyond truth or lies.

Accept this if you can: follow victory but accept and give love, follow victory but be aware it is supported by love, follow victory but know it is love, or just follow, it is beyond victory or love.

Or as the Toa te ching would put it :)

A good traveler has no fixed plans
and is not intent upon arriving.
A good artist lets his intuition
lead him wherever it wants.
A good scientist has freed himself of concepts
and keeps his mind open to what is.

Thus the Master is available to all people
and doesn't reject anyone.
He is ready to use all situations
and doesn't waste anything.
This is called embodying the light.

What is a good man but a bad man's teacher?
What is a bad man but a good man's job?
If you don't understand this, you will get lost,
however intelligent you are.
It is the great secret.

Source:Toa Te Ching.

italian fauna and flora

Isn't life beautiful

senseless fear and killing

Palestine: A war on children

moon gives a gift of beauty

tonight i saw the most hermosa fullmoon possible, low in the sky framed by the meandering edges of a dark thundercloud. mama mia.

Last week i was in the toskana near firenze attending a yoga nidra course. It ish einfach super huere mega geil schön gsi ;) Great place, people, instruction, food, air and chi... thank u big WI ;)

grotto without limitation

Went with d'Yvonne yesterday to visit and meditate at the Emma Kunz zentrum in Würenlos. Really a beautiful and peaceful place.

violence breeds violence

The Americans have developed an incredibly simple philosophy: anything goes if Americans benefit from it.

- Swiss senator Dick Marty.

'Without going out of doors, one may know the whole world; without looking out of window, one may see the Way of Heaven. The farther one travels, the less one may know.'

the lazy shady bright side of work

i currently experience working from my hammock in our garden and bird-filled forest :)
Dear lorD, can this state be made the default ;)

a secret

is revealed

dark i

that which you deny or repress you give more power

for J

The voice, Afghan matchmakers say, is more than half of love

- Shantaram, p. 24

Everyone, he said later, when his one year in the slum had become three and five and then eight, is connected to Fate through the will of God, and it's not until we open our hearts to what we fear, that we hear Fate knocking at the door of our lives.

- Qasim Ali Hussein

energies ahoy

Last night was full of strange energies. We spent the lovely evening on the K. balcony just chatting like lazy stones for the first time in a long while.

I had a strange dream in the morning which was difficult to capture but here is my best try. In the dream we were sleeping and i was having what i can best describe as pre-cognitive dreams. I dreamt that something bad was about to happen to Mojo's wife. Two woman with me went to try and prevent or help with this event that was about to occur. I 'saw' many dreams very similar but some 'felt' different and they were the right ones to 'take'. The dreams were symbolised as a musical pieces. The process had a feeling of inevitability - we cannot stop the future even though we know what is going to happen. Perhaps the choosing of the dreams had something to do with my decision last night to start writing down my dreams. I alo thought that choosing the correct dream was like a thank offering to God, a blessing.

back to the lake

Returned home today after great fires, food and sleep:) Thanks all.

I feel lots of new things are afoot at the moment. Feelins and truth and facing them. I haven't talked about my feelings in a long time but the captain will sit down soon and write them down in his starblob.

Maya is the many veils decorating the nameless

green hills of germany

I drove up to B's farmhouse near Tübingen yesterday. Went through a pretty rough storm but it was nice to be cruising on my own and the countryside is beautiful.

I had a great sleep and an interesting dream. I forget the beginning, but it felt like a group of us participated in some ceremony standing half submerged in water. Then afterwards I confronted an older man who seemed to be my teacher. This was a first. I shouted at him in mock fury that this enlightenment bussiness was a lot of crap and that i am tired of trying to become like this etc. etc. He just looked at me and said nothing. In the last part of the dream I was together with someone else and the teacher came and wanted to cut away the robe/shirt i was wearing. It was open at the front but still connected by a 'fixed' piece of a zipper just over my heart. I said that my mother is not going to like this as she was the one who made the zipper. I thought that maybe i could still repair it afterwards if needed. He went ahead and cut the robe open.

my dream woman

Last night my anima or soulmate came to talk to me in a dream. she was all i could ever dream of and a friend :) does she exist in the physical world too?

woman in the wood

I had the strangest dream(s) last night. Me, my frien J. and some children were somewhere in a room and J. was explaining/giving a lecture to us on how when children enter into or through the 'wood-world'(another dream world?) they can usually return but that occasionally they do get trapped there (for a while?). There was also the prostrate (sleeping?) figure of a young girl with us. Somehow she was centrally
involved in what we were doing or discussing. Then i think i tried it and entered into or through the 'wood'. I got in but then unxpectedly someone or thing came out of nowhere and gave me a 'fright'(something like saying BOO! behind me). I got such a fright that i immediately awoke shouting something out loud. It was unexpected but i didn't feel malice yet. But things changed. For the rest of the night i was drifting in and out of sleep having the feeling that something sinister is behind my head hiding in the wood and perhaps living in the wood next to my bed. I got the feeling it was a woman and that she is not very friendly towards me. I was feeling very violent(read scared) in my other dreams because i several times told her to go away and when i later saw a cat or kitten looking straight at me in a dream i very aggresively stared it down, mistakenly thinking it might be the woman or sent by her. I approached it and picked it up, softly because i realized i had an open swiss army knife in my right hand. what a night!

farewell to a krokodil

Monday night was the farewell 'fire' to Mojo down at the rote fabrik. The staff made dinner and the old krokodil band members teamed up for a few blazing rock songs. Man they're good. His brothers also joined to make some great music. But someone was missing. Travel well Mojo.

meditation is

... being with yourself.

dreary sky

My enemy is my helper

- old sufi or christian mystic saying.

The love we need to 'hunt' is inside ourselves. But that love is difficult prey. You have to be very fast ... because anything can distract you from your goal. If you can capture the 'prey' you will see that your love can grow strong inside you and it can fulfill all your needs.

-The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz.

I cannot recommend this book too highly, least of all to myself :) So straight and powerfull. And the audio book is read by a well-known couple with wonderful voices.

an interview with Don Miguel Ruiz and
www.miguelruiz.com

a watery grave

I had a restless night last night and an ominous dream. Unfortunately i've forgotten the start of it because it seemed significant and interesting. A group of us where together somewhere on a platform, busy with some ceremony or experiment? My impression is that it was a success and something bright and round materialized among us or we were indeed the pattern that formed. At this the scene shifted slightly and we now appeared to be high on a narrow gangway. Far below us was an ocean shore. Suddenly the others pushed me and an older woman off the plank. It happened unexpectedly and as we were near the edge i lost my balance and fell. Right beneath us there were people swimming and rocks and i was very concerned of hitting them. So i angled my descent away towards the open ocean. I now felt fear as it was very high. I tried to hit the water at an angle so that i wouldn't go so deep. As i went in i immediately started to check my descent by paddling upwards. However as i went down knew it was useless. I was going too deep. There wouldn't be enough air left in my lungs to reach the surface again.
Afterwards i sensed or overheard? that the older woman had died as well. Her bones where shattered on impact with the water.

An unusual dream and message. As far as i can recall i haven't died in a dream before.

half-moon rising

With the spring night warm and lingering me and M sat down together on the steps and didn't leave them until the night slept deeply and the tips of our noses and bodies were warm.

blowing in the wind

our lives are like writing with a stick on water

- the Buddha.

Part of Me

Life and death.

Mojo, my roommate died silently yesterday in his bed. He drank himself to death after his wife died suddely a few years ago, but I don't know that much. All i know is that i love him and will miss him. We weren't close; our personalities and lives and ages being very different but when i feel and remember his soul, he was or is an especially beautiful being. He was also a great musician, a rock star in his time, the seventies, playing for the swiss progressive rock band Krokodil. He played the guitar, harmonica and flute and the few times i heard him still play these instruments it was wunderschön.

You can read a little about the band here and also listen to one of their songs, You're Still a Part of Me at the first link.

Swiss Pop&Rock Anthology

Swiss Rock
last.fm - Krokodil
krokodil

Uf wiederhöre Mojo
Paul

Mojo Kurt M Weideli 1 Oct 1948 - 26 Apr 2006

Death & mayhem

Today is the 20 year anniversary of the Chernobil disaster.
This is a good if somewhat unusual site to get a glimpse of what happened there. Follow Elena on her journey:

Elena's fotos

And if you want to know about a current disaster read about the major war going on in the DRC:

The war the world forgot

harm and health

This morning i was watching some nicevideos of a workshop gien by Ken Wilber and others and afterwards showering this showerthought ran out the faucet over my head and into me: we cannot do any harm unto others without harming ourselves. Of course sometimes this is necessary, as when we kill to eat, or punish to teach, or go cold turkey to break a habit.

And the reverse is just as true. the least good we do, we do unto ourselves also. This Jesus said, which is fitting on this day. Thanks showerhead ;)

So that is also an answer as to why i'm usually a sortof-vegetarian: because it is easier 'for me', it costs less 'for me', and it does the least harm to all of us.

Two nights ago i had an extra-ordinary clear dream. I was ascending Chomolangma(mnt everest) with a tibetan guide/sherpa and a small group of people. The atmosphere was clear and cold and our purpose intense. At one point we rested and about 2 hours higher up i discovered i must have 'forgotten' my backpack lower down. We stopped and my/the guide came down and i realized he didn't have it either. He felt sorry(in a non-guilty way) that he hadn't looked after me better but implied unworriedly that i could continue without it. For me that was out of the question. I could not entertain that option at all and he silently undestood that. He handed me a parcel and two red postcards. I felt i was to read them when i reached my backpack. The postcards contained good wishes/news from 2? woman, and that would give me the added hope and inspiration to climb back up and again join the party(who would continue). interesting. what message is my soul and unconscious singing to me?

complicated road to nowhere or the unbearable lightness of now

why do we make everything so difficult? What happened to play and fun and flow? Perhaps we seek too hard. We work so hard and try to control so much to reach these new nowhere's.

Well we know where we’re goin’
But we don’t know where we’ve been
And we know what we’re knowin’
But we can’t say what we’ve seen
And we’re not little children
And we know what we want
And the future is certain
Give us time to work it out

We’re on a road to nowhere
Come on inside
Takin’ that ride to nowhere
We’ll take that ride

I’m feelin’ okay this mornin’
And you know,
We’re on the road to paradise
Here we go, here we go

Maybe you wonder where you are
I don’t care
Here is where time is on our side
Take you there...
take you there

We’re on a road to nowhere
We’re on a road to nowhere
We’re on a road to nowhere

There’s a city in my mind
Come along and take that ride
And it’s all right, baby, it’s all right

And it’s very far away
But it’s growing day by day
And it’s all right, baby, it’s all right

They can tell you what to do
But they’ll make a fool of you
And it’s all right, baby, it’s all right

We’re on a road to nowhere

- -Talking Heads.

fun and games

I'm having fun playing around with my fast new Xfce desktop,alias Xubuntu.

A person with ubuntu is open and available to others, affirming of others, does not feel threatened that others are able and good, for he or she has a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs in a greater whole and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed

.

- Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

US Regime: Arrogant killers

Just over three years ago, when I interviewed the Saudi foreign minister, I asked him why he thought the US was determined to invade Iraq.

He said he had put the same question to Vice-President Dick Cheney. Mr Cheney had replied: "Because it's do-able".

It was. The trouble is, undoing the kind of damage the Saudi foreign minister foresaw is proving very hard indeed.

Source:By John Simpson, BBC World Affairs Editor.

This war in Iraq makes me sick.

all for 1 and 1 for all

An idea came to me while showering. It is about to man's search for meaning and the great chain of being. Hasn't my/our search become focused on what the meaning of our lives are. Like Jung and others have said, this reflection of us on ourselves, on who we are, on becoming aware of our individuality is the latest chapter in the evolution of consciousness. People use many methods to give meaning to their lives, depending on their own level of awareness. But in the shower i entertained a thought that should be obvious but wasn't before. That what is inexplicable in my life belongs to a higher order of meaning. Of course religious orders take this for granted, bit i had long since walked out of that perspective and had to find my own explanation again. That gave me consolation, that this boundless 'one' i'm part of causes events i have no control over. Of course i also have some freedom that i have responseabilty over but i have to be aware of that which is beyond me. This doesn't mean I cannot love or fight in this limited role, just that i am aware of the boundless around me and to be better atuned and in harmony with it, if possible.

Another thing came up in meditation and a conversation with J, and because of a situation at the moment. So often we and i errect a barrier around ourselves to keep out other views, other possibilities. Some people start every sentence with the word no, other's like myself when listening to people silently 'judge' their words for it's veracity, depth, etc. Now mediation taught me today just to let go and watch 'things' come in. Seems easy hih but damn hard. It's so dangerous we feel. But it's really amazing to listen to others and EVEN OURSLEVES without 'reacting' defensively, judgementally to what is being said. The amazing freedom comes from this: when we let these sensations come in it means we have nothing to fear from them, nothing to defend against. No energy to waste on expensive 'defense'forces. Well those are my hippie ideas for today...(the judge in me comments ;)

We carry in our hearts the true country
And that cannot be stolen

- Midnight Oil.

unseen channels

I've been reading up about feng shui and dream states after having a real 'evil' dream while sleeping in an unusual position. Makes me think how unaware i often am about the influence my physical surroundings have on me and i on it. Well i re-organized a few things and felt much better physi-and psychologically.

Here is the dream. I don't think i have ever felt such evil before in a dream.

I was in my bathroom at my parents home where i grew up. Inside the bath sat my eldest son and outside the bath next to him, i think i saw another younger son and my wife? I am in front of my son pouring white water over his body to keep the evil from rising up in him. It works a few times but then it overpowers him. We are now on the other side of the bathroom and i he, taller than me, is coming for me with an evil intent without any care. I realize there is no other option but to knock 'my son' unconscious. I hit him in his face with all my force and i wake up just having hit the wall next to my bed very hard with my fist. Ouch.

Afterwards i felt scared as if something was lurking in the corner of the room.

half past a lie f vih

actually i shouldn't be writing about birds singing and spring springing, because that's not how i feel inside most of the time these days. i should be writing about madnissss, anngrrr and deth ...and lie.if. i seem to be dreaming in a world of sleeping people. aren't there grown-apes outdare that still have dat eager twinkle of childlike all-is-possible in dare eYes. aren't dare people outdare who don't need whars and dis-asters to awake dem for a while; who think dare is more to luf than di dredgery of learn'ed' habbit(..ribbit ribbit). aren't dare people awakE! outdare?? is dare eni-1 outdare, eniONE, eniONE.... wel um that sounds like a line from star trek or a movie, so that probably means time 2go2 bed 4 dis-chayeld ;)

sense.early
caPtain No!skwik


ps. As you surely gesst bi Njow, dih caP get's s name from having dankgheroos multi-Pill Pow-whirrs:
1. he's backed up by a wellknown milk flavoring mix maker
2. he makes no sound when coming (in more ways than 1 ;)
3. he's quick to deny manythings
4. he's got a nasal drip
5. and last but least he understands everything very very schnell and rabidly :)

again adios amoebas

birds & the bees & april freees

The bird and animal sounds newly arrived with spring are amazing, no. How empty the worlds would be without that. It's april fool's day but the sun already played one on me wednesday. for the life of me i couldn't see the bloody solar sonnefinsternis eclipse. I had enough data to satisfy Nasa, but alas the pudding was empty of proof; just tasteless theory ;)

test test test just a test

an answer

U. said: try demud/humilty and humour. wow what an answer.

humilty: why do i suppose things should be perfect in my little piece of the universe. Perhaps what went wrong was necessary for something bigger to work and to be 'perfect'
humour: perhaps not take my and others' actions so seriously. Laugh because that's sometimes all the hell we can do.

merci.

love, mad irony and forgiveness

the secret is this: can i forgive myself for that which was not my fault and also for those things that were? i know not if i have the strenght for this or where to start?

extremely wise thought for the day ;)

it comes to me that success and failure can both be hard roads to face in their unique ways. They each have tribulations and as always from the one the other looks so much better. We can steer our sphere (holon) of control to some degree but the seas and channels of much bigger designs often 'destines' our successes and failures. Also what might look like a success or failure from the deck of our little ship often turns out to be otherwise later or elsewhere :)

This reminds me of the chinese story about the farmer whose horse ran away.

One day the farmer's son failed to tether the horse properly and the horse ran away. His neighbours said, 'What bad luck !'
The farmer replied, 'How do you know?'
The next day the horse returned with three other healthy young wild horses. His neighbours said, 'What good luck !'.
'How do you know?', replied the farmer. The following day the farmer's son broke his leg when he fell from one of the new horses. The neighbours said, 'What bad luck !' and again the farmer replied, 'How do you know?'
While the son was incapacitated the Emperor's army passed through the village gathering fit young men for a war that was just beginning far away on the other side of the Empire. All the young men from the village were conscripted except, of course, the farmers son. All the people in the village said: "He is a lucky man, he has still his son with him.
Of course he said as before: 'How do you know?'.

spring is springing into the northern hemisphere

Welcome dear frühling. Your arrival is greeted with naked limbs and happiness by us ground dwellers :)

Some thoughts came swinging through the trees to me while meditating this sunday and i wrote them down thanks to R.:
- meditation is becoming more awake. Relaxed yet very alert. Like the aikido pratitioner, balanced, flowing, ready to answer, to live.
- our eyes and how and where they look may have a greater effect than we realize. Keeping my eyes unfocused on the horison seems to activate awareness.
- meditation is sitting with friends; being with friends, being present, being aware, being there :)
- there are different kinds and rhythms of breathing.

A thought paraphrased from Osho:

[meditation] is not seeking perfection but seeking wholeness

meditation:

c.1225, "discourse on a subject," from L. meditari "to meditate, to think over, consider," from PIE base *med- "to measure, limit, consider, advise" (cf. Gk. medesthai "think about," medon "ruler," L. modus "measure, manner," modestus "moderate," modernus "modern," mederi "to heal," medicus "physician," Skt. midiur "I judge, estimate," Welsh meddwl "mind, thinking," Goth. miton, O.E. metan "to measure"). Meaning "act of meditating, continuous calm thought upon some subject" is from 1390. -from online etymology dictionary

The Sanskrit word dhyana, derived from the verbal root dhyai ("to contemplate, meditate, think"), is the most common designation both for the meditative state of consciousness and the yogic techniques by which it is induced. The Vedanta tradition also employs the terms nididhyasana, which stems from the same verbal root, upasana (literally "dwelling upon"), and bhavana (literally "cultivating"). - Georg Feuerstein

der Vaterland

My first time ever on deutsche soil as i journeyd to the giant Cebit show in the north of germany(Honaver) for a week of work. I must say i find the german people and landscape sehr interesant und freundlich. Wish you could see how sexy i looked in my new intalian suit :)

high on hei

I'm glad to be home again! Thanks to heavy snowfalls today the country outside my windows looks beautiful, wonderful, hermosa, schön, pragtig, lieflik, out of a children's fairytale. i wish i was inside as peaceful as this view outside today.

new day

I'm back in more ways than 1 :) First of all thanks Vica for your nice words(c nov 11 post). I guess faith in life and ourselves makes everything so much brighter and nicer :)

I had 2 interesting insights the last 2 weeks. Both are well 'known', but i felt them i little closer to my own bones.

One. Good and evil are two masks, two siblings who sometimes disown each other. They may be quite different at times but they both belong to a bigger mother wholon. Even though the fashion is to be 'good' these days the higher value is just to BE ... well! - Nietsche's beyong good and evil me thinks.

Two. The other night i saw my anima. Amazing that she is such a driving force in me and yet i barely notice or know her. And the more i do not, the more she acts without my 'guidance'. I 'saw' her in a dream state. This woman that 'i' believe to be the perfect match for the man in me. And i had a thought. For a woman to enter into my life, this Anima of mine has a bigger say than 'i'. My partner and my anima must get along and respect each other unless i want a catfight ;) The same goes for a woman. Her animus must accept the man she is with. I know this all sounds far out, but go to that deep place were all your inborn and learnt desires and expectations about a partner sits, and you will find her or him there. Very much alive and with significant power. The less conscious you are of her the more power she has. Do you see my dear ...

bye 05, zumwohl 06

here's the sun setting on the 31st over cape town and the year 2005. i viewed it from a place aptly named sunset beach :)

The infamous Robben island can be seen on the right.

When i think of the past year a quote by Dickens comes to mind:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity . . . Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities.