she was once again my whole day with her absence. I spent it listening to music, studying spanish and english with Malena for most of the day, and then wasting a few hours 'getting lost in that hopeless little screen'. hopefully i was learning some spanish. i've got a feeling my destiny will lead me to cuba. i've got a feeling my destiny will forever return to the spanish world. why should this be so. because maybe the arrow of time have come this way before. maybe i'm wrong. maybe i die tomorow. maybe the world ends in fire or ice and i have to wait a thousand million years before i dance with her in cuba. i wish i could write. i wish i could start to build something, or realize something, or just live. this waiting is hard to bear. Maybe i just fear the hard work and necesary failures inherent in starting to create.
A new teacher is coming in a week, so i might be sharing the flat with him.
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